10 Cheesy hair metal videos....yup.

So some cheesy shit.....like hair band cheesy.
Last night, New Years Eve was spent with my son (we went to the Zoo and watch the animals try to figure out how to eat us) not a partner..no kiss at the bell. Sure it was a little lonely after the boy was in bed but it made me realize that I miss writing this blog and truthfully I was in bed by 11 pm.

So as I wandered around the internet I found myself looking at 80s Hair Metal videos and giggling to my self.  So here is 10 good servings of 80's cheese. This is in no way a definitive list, it's just a bunch of videos that make me laugh and shake my head.

Pretty Boy Floyd: Rock and Roll
Really? look at the make up on these dudes.  Tammy Faye Baker would be proud, love the start with the guns into the guitar part.  And these guys studied at the school of Motley Crue, at least Crue where the first.

Crue
Ok....This is for comparison; it is cheesy (love the silhouette of the girls getting the bath and lots of fist waving) but consider this; PBF is '89 to Crue in '84 so you have to give Crue a few props here for setting the stage stylistically.  I'm particularly partial to the terrible fight sequence, what a great video.  Devil signs everyone!

WASP
Skeleton hand....nice.  Blackie Lawless is an ugly dude, grey hair? Always thought that was weird.  Notice the pelvic thrusts, they are a genre requirement I am sure, and fist waving and scowling...
And why are they standing on their toes?

White Lion
Oh ya....who didn't like this song? More wide spread legs and tip toes... did all these ladies want to be ballerinas?  Mike why do you looks so sad?  Pretty girls are dying to get your hair secrets and... ah.... your pelvic thrusts.  Then there is Vito; he was a good player, weird eyes...kinda like a frog, wonder is all the young girls thought if they kissed him he would turn into a prince. Speaking of kissing; pouty lips! Forgot about those.

Y&T
How could I not include this?  The bathing suits alone are awesome....and really, are you even aloud to make a video like this any more?  I mean motor oil on the beach has got to be an environmental crime.  Super hot s&m chicks on the beach...it's crazy but I remember walking to high school in black leather in June and almost passing out from the heat...so a leather bikini, why no?  Volley ball, nice touch.

Autograph
Ah the perm....and look at the special effects, state of the art.  Medals, I had medals, I got them at a head shop (not at war, kinda a mockery in hind sight) and they got caught on everything, but things like that do go better with rock.  Japanese Kamikaze head bands... he he he.  I'm having fun can you tell?  Van Halen tapping... but who's play while they're all pumping their fists?  I can hear the director 'just stand there...closer oh oh...pump you fist....oh this is so cool, you guys rock hard metal ya ! YA!'

Accept
Where did these guys fit in?  Ok they are German....Not a pretty boy in sight, you know maybe they where ahead of their time? No wait, wide leg poses and choreographed lunging and head banging till the wall comes down, all things are possible with metal.

Ratt

We had Germans so now we need an Italian, where did Stephen Pearcy get his moves?  He must have seen Roth on sunset...but that kick, lame. Not cheesy?  The doubled guitar, always loved that. No I take it back, it's cheesy.  Priest and Maiden nailed the double guitar thing before these guys anyway.
I just an epiphany...did Pearcy have a little foo-foo dog with hair in front of it's eyes? That is all I think of when I see his hair in this video, some poor sappy dog walking around an old ladies living room smacking into furniture.

Def Leppard
Wizards, Perms and white pant ass shots....still a great song.
When we dressed like this did we actually think we looked good? And who's ideal was the sword?  Oh ya....axe,  Breakin' the Chains...

Dokken
George Lynch, did he ever wear a shirt?  Don Dokken, buddy, you can punch whatever you want but you will never look tough.  Oh my....the upset girlfriend, that is cheesy.  More wizard crap...and more chains, more breakin' chains.

I can sit here and beat this crap up but I am sure I owned all of this at some point and there is so much more of it, Poison, Warrant, Winger, it didn't get better it got even worse.  Then you enter the power ballad era and that took whatever 'tough' there was in metal and threw it out the door.

Don't get me wrong there where some good songs but it was all to slick and exaggerated and when 'Smells like Teen Spirit, Bullet With Butterfly Wings, and Rusty Cage' came out this posturing disappeared overnight.
Not a bad thing...cause in hindsight the kitsch was, well...fun.

Still fun....Glad it's in retrospect, no wait Buck Cherry.
*sigh*